Monday, March 31, 2008

Crutches (And Emergency Room Visit #3)

When I was young I had an odd fascination with crutches. I wanted them SO badly. I was willing to suffer the pain of a broken leg in order to have them.

I never accomplished the broken leg, I just want to get that out right now. I failed in that regard.

But, in Kindergarten, I came so close! We had one of those brightly colored play houses in my classroom, you know, the ones with a slide? Sort of like this...

But let's face it, this was a while ago, and there is no way it looked like that. All I remember was a slide and bright plastic. And i apologize for the picture quality, I didn't take it, I googled it.

So, back to the story, I climbed to the very top of the playhouse, and took a flying leap. My goal was to end with my ankle bent, but at the last minute I chickened out and tried to correct my landing...so I ended up with only a minor sprain.

You have to realize that I was so completely reckless as a child, I had absolutely no regard for my poor Mother's nerves...or medical bills.

We ended up having to go to the hospital again, because five year olds should not be walking with a limp.

The doctor checked me out, wrapped my ankle, and asked my Mom if she wanted me on crutches for a couple of days to help the healing process.

My heart leapt. Crutches! For me! It was a greater thrill than Ralphie could have felt about his Red Rider beebee gun, I am sure I had the same sort of glazed smile on my face and wonderlust in my eyes..

"Is that necessary?" She asked the doctor.

"Oh probably not, it's up to you." He said. "Oh, well then, we will see how she does without them." She replied.

I felt as if the air had been sucked from my chest. No crutches? What does a girl have to do to get crutches around this place?! Woe is me! I think I may have blacked the rest out. I don't remember leaving the hospital, or recovering from my sprain. Only years of therapy and hypnosis will unlock those repressed memories.

To this day, I still have not managed to need crutches, although I am no longer willing to jump from great heights to get them..they still fascinate me.

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