Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Emergency Room Visit #1

I have had several trips to the emergency room over the course of my life, and most of them I caused. And by that I mean I did something that still causes my parents to shake their heads and wonder how they produced someone with so little common sense.

Trust me when I say I have developed some common sense as I have aged, but when I was little...ooooo boy, I was a handful (or so I have heard).

So the story begins after church on Sunday night when I was about two or three. My parents had gotten into conversation with someone, and I had begun crawling around on the floor. My memories of this even are somewhat limited, but here is what I know.

1.) I was wearing a dress, it kept getting stuck around my knees.
2.) I crawled under a chair, and found a fuzzy craft pompom. Like these:

3.) I thought that pompom was the greatest find since Howard Carter found King Tut.

4.) I stuck the pompom up my nose. I don't know why, but I did. And I pushed it far enough up there that I could no longer get it out.

At first my parents were merely exasperated that their toddler had stuck something up her nose, but as they realized I could not get it out they got a little concerned. They tried everything they could think of, but eventually surrendered to the knowledge that a professional was needed.

I have vague memories of the ride to the hospital, I think I was crying, not from pain but from my mother frantically urging me to blow my nose repeatedly.

I don't remember much once we got to the emergency room, but I imagine the conversation went something like this:

Nurse: Can I help you?

Dad: It's this little girl, she has a pompom jammed in her nose. She isn't mine, I found her.

Nurse: How did that happen?

Dad: Well, I don't know, she just got it up there and it won't come out.

Okay, I doubt my parents refused to claim me as their offspring, but they may have thought about it.

I swear that the doctor who treated me came at me with the biggest pair of tweezers EVER, and after the pompom was removed there was a sudden gush of blood. But I have been told that this is incorrect as well, and it was quick and painless, although the doctor probably questioned why he spent so much on medical school to treat senseless toddlers.

Unfortunately that was only the first of my emergency room visits. But hey, it could happen to anyone! Well, almost anyone?

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