Monday, April 21, 2008

Annie Oakley

So...I shot a gun for the first time in my life yesterday. And you know what? I liked it! How did I get to be this age and never shoot a gun of any kind? Especially growing up on a farm. Everyone assumed that at some point someone else had taken me shooting. Sam finally did.

It's not that I wasn't exposed to guns. My dad used to take me with him when he would go out and shoot varmints. Oh, and never in my life have I heard any member of my family utter the word varmint, but it seemed appropriate in the situation. I used to strap on my cowboy holster, make sure I had my plastic, orange-capped gun at the ready, and wear my boots.

My mom once killed a rabid raccoon that was down at the stream while she was standing on the porch. We were all playing outside and her maternal, protective, spidey-sense told her that the raccoon was posing a danger to her babies.

She got that sucker in one shot, we like to reenact the scene from The Ghost and the Darkeness with Val Kilmer and Micheal Douglas.

One shot! She has made the night safe again, with one shot!

Such a great movie. Such a great memory, my mom is Annie Oakley...to me if to no one else.

Me...not so much. I know I hit the target once out of three times with a handgun...I know this since someone tells me I did. I certainly didn't hear it hit. No one tells you that, by the way. No one says "oh yeah, after you fire it you will hear NOTHING for about 10 seconds." It might have been nice to know that in advance. I'm just sayin.

Still, I thought it was fun.

My youngest sister shot it too...I tried to tell her that she wouldn't be able to hear right away, but I had trouble conveying that to her. She didn't like it I think. She fired it and her knees buckled, she turned around and stared at us as if we had betrayed her.

We then got out a different gun, a 45 caliber handgun...and no, I don't know what that means. When I was ready to try shooting it...it just clicked. That right there is anticlimax. I let my breath out in a whoosh. I was expecting a big bang and a kick...but all I got was a click.

So I tried it again....

Click.

Again...

Click...

AGAIN...

Click.

At this point my stomach was at my ankles. I handed it back to Sam. I couldn't take the pressure anymore. I folded. I am ashamed.

Okay, I'm not really ashamed.

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