Thursday, May 15, 2008

Working Retail

Who hasn't worked a few cruddy retail jobs in their younger years? I honestly think it is an integral part of life development. And for that reason when/if I have children, I am going to cart them off to work in a department store.

At the age of two.

Because I hear diapers and pacifiers and blankets all cost money, and I don't want to spend money on rug rats.

*Actually I do, just not yet*

I worked retail for several different clothing stores, and at the last one I worked for I was an assistant manager. Please understand that I don't tell you this in the hopes that you would be impressed..I know you aren't. It's okay, neither am I. I tell you this so that you will understand why I was baffled by the situation I am about to describe. I was supposed to be in charge that day. I was the only supervisor all day long.

It was a Sunday, and therefore a pretty slow day at the store. I was over on one side of the store helping a woman pick out some shirts. She was a pretty woman, probably in her thirties, petite with brown hair.

The other girl that was on that day was Lacey. I loved Lacey. One of the funniest people I have met, and she never tried it. For example, one time I ran to the bathroom and told Lacey to "hold down the fort." When I got back she looked at me "What is a fort? I didn't know what you wanted me to hold."

Oh. Dear. Lord.

So anyway, back to that fateful Sunday. Lacey came over to my customer and said "Ummm, Ma'am, that man at the counter would like your phone number."

The woman just looked at me. "I don't want to give it to him" she said.

Okay, not that bad.

She grabbed my arm "He is coming over here, I don't want to talk to him, I'm scared."

Well lady, I'm scared too! I stood in front of her like I was going to be able to do a darned thing. He tried to reach around me to grab her but I pushed his hand away.

"I'm sorry sir, she isn't interested, and you need to move away before I call security." It was all I could manage to get that much out.

"Oh, come on" he said, "I'm really not that bad." He tried to reach over my shoulder again. Did I mention he was at least 5 or 6 inches taller than me? Well, he was.

Even Lacey knew this wasn't a good thing. He tried to reach past me again.

Then he started to laugh.

Then she(my customer) started to laugh.

She walked around me and kissed the man, they both turned to me and said "Oh it's okay, we are actually together. It was a joke...haha like candid camera."

Excuse me? A joke? What?

Lacey looked at me, I looked at them, they giggled and walked out of the store.

A joke? Dude better watch out, I could have seriously injured him!

I know tae-bo dammit!


  1. Seriously? A grown couple played a joke on you? Wow. I don't know what else to say. Who does that?!


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