Monday, June 30, 2008


I get a lot of spam e-mail on my school account. Sometimes...I like to read said spam, especially when the subject line is something like this "ATTENTION HONORABLE BENEFICIARY" because -- well, wouldn't you want to read that??

I read it. And I replied to it, ya know, just to see what would happen. Originally I wanted to post the entire first e-mail here, but it is pretty long...and I don't want to bore you.
Here is the breakdown:
--I have recently come into an inheritance authorized as per our "oral discussion" with the President of Nicaragua.
--The inheritance can be placed on an ATM card for my convenience, all I have to do is send my information to (obviously the government of Nicaragua would be using Gmail for their official correspondence.)

I personally like this little portion of the email "the ATM card payment center has been mandated to issue out ($8,300,000.00) as part payment for this fiscal year 2008. also for your information, you have to stop any further communication with any other person(s) or office(s) to avoid any hitches in receiving your ATM payment." In other words, don't talk to anyone about this.

So I wrote back, informing them of a few things.

1. While accents are undoubtedly charming in person, they come across slightly shady in written format (which obviously, the Government of Nicaragua would never want) so I felt they should work on their English.

2. I have never been in "oral discussion" with the President of Nicaragua, so they must have accidentally mixed me up with someone else.

Imagine my surprise when I received an reply from none other than the Rev. John Brown. This one I will paste for you...

"Attention: Martini Jerry,

I received your email letter in this office stating that i should explan more about this offer before you will proceed to send your information, and i have noted your comment as you stated.

I will like you to give me a call for more explanations, but if you know that you can not call out of your country then try to send me your number so that i will call you immediately.

here is my number +234-703051_5611 call me immediately you get this message or you send your number to me so that i can reach you.

Rev. John Brown

Things to some point I became Martini Jerry. I think I may just keep that new moniker.
Oooh Rev. John Brown wants my number!
Does his number look like a real phone number to you?? Not that I would actually call it mind you.
I'm totally going to write back, I'll keep you posted. This is surprisingly fun for me, any suggestions on things you think I should make the Rev. John Brown aware??


  1. You had me at Martini Jerry. That is awesome! And what's even cooler is your letter of correspondence with them. hahahaha. See if you call (from a purelled payphone!) You should record it because I hear the accents are incredibly thick and funny.

  2. haha as of now I have written back asking for more information about the inheritance and about the location of their offices.

    and did I sign it Martini Jerry, you bet i did!

  3. Martini Jerry... I love it.

    Mr. C used to respond to random spam with an 'F*^% you.' hee hee. He's calmed down since then.

  4. haha i figured they wouldnt know that word, and their online translator wouldnt translate it, so I avoided it.

  5. That is hilarious!
    I wonder if people actually believe those emails??

    came by via April's blog...Like your blog title :)

  6. hi jules! welcome and thanks!

    Im sad to report that yes they do. Hopefully not ones this bad, where they somehow mistake Rebekah for Martini Jerry, but sometimes they do.

    I worked at a back for a few years a while ago, and we used to get people telling us they were waiting on a wire tranfer from an inheritance from some other country. Its sad because it was usually an older person who had already sent them a check to "prove their account was valid"

    thanks for stopping by!

  7. a bank. i worked at a bank. not a back.


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