Friday, August 29, 2008

I Married a Hooker?

Tuesday and Wednesday evenings I play college kid and have a three hour class. Due to the fact that it's a night class, I am usually in the company of other non-traditional students, older folks. Not OLD old, not geriatric old(although I would probably prefer that...they have great stories...and the people in my class are weird, as you are about to find out) but older than average.



So Wednesday night rolls around last week, I head off to the first class of the semester and find that I am partnered with a 40ish woman named Sharon for an ice-breaker activity. This is good, I think. Because if I have to hear one more story about how HOT the guys from Tau Kappa Epsilon are from a hungover sorostitute I might vomit.




Sharon and I get down to business, learning facts about each other. Sharon is a sophomore, Sharon has a husband and two kids, Sharon has a dog, Sharon is from Louisiana, you get the general idea here. We then introduce each other to the entire classroom. I hate hate HATE being the center of attention like that. I know it's hard to believe from the way I spill my guts on here, but really, I'm pretty shy.




So I go first and introduce Sharon to the classroom. All goes well and it's Sharon's turn. How hard can it be right? She gets to the part about me having a husband and says...




Since apparently you can buy them these days with a little sneer. Then sits down like 'mission accomplished, I've done my intro!' and leans back in her chair.




Um....come again? What did I do to you in the 10 minutes we have been partnered? Did you just insult me, my husband, or both of us? What is being implied here?




1. I had to pay someone to marry me.


2. My husband was desperate.


3. I married the male version of "Pretty Woman"



I was embarrassed and tried to laugh it off, but I'm pretty sure the entire class was just as confused, including the poor adjunct professor that immediately started shuffling papers in an attempt to break the awkward silence that ensued.


So I turn to you, who know me even better than Sharon did, what does this mean?


10 comments:

  1. Yeah I am confused! Why would she say that!? I hate those games...and to think we are in college playing that! And the semesters just beginning.

    I love your pretty woman picture! Thats funny!

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  2. How very strange...eh, shrug it off. She sounds pretty shallow. I do love the pic too!

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  3. hmmm, bitter old hag sounds more like it. hmmm, no, you married a hooker.

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  4. I agree with the bitter old hag comment. Maybe she thinks you were too young to be married? Really, I would've shot daggers at her for the rest of the class. Grow the fuck up lady.

    Wait. Can I cuss on your comments?

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  5. Well, if you did not say anything to her after class, you are a bigger person than I. What a HAG. What a terrible thing to say about someone to a group of strangers.

    I think I would move to the other side of the room, away from that idiot. Really.

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  6. colorado lady - well...i WAS tempted to tell her to meet me out by the dumpster after class. haha

    haha rachael...thanks for clearing that up, im glad i know how your REALLY feel about matt.

    Jen - that was my thought too(about being too young) but really..im young, but its not like Im 19 OR like Im acting like im a pro at this old marriage game you know?

    what a weirdo...thats raely all i can say about her anymore!

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  7. Thanks for the photoshop, really cleared things up for me. In fact I was just telling Mr. Cat about you and Matt and thought how you two were EXACTLY like that movie..... Wait?? Pretty Woman???

    Nope, I was thinking of that romantic comedy with the incredibly sweet and beautiful girl that doesn't know it, and the super human, hot do gooder who falls in love with her. Yah that one.

    That lady is a miserable person. PLPLPLPLPLPL on her!

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  8. Well. What a strange thing to say in class! This is exactly why I HATE ice breaker activities in college. All of a sudden you end up with some weird fact going around about you and your name pronounced weirdly or something.

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  9. Wow, that was a bit strange.

    So how much did you pay? Just wondering? Looks like it might have cost ya a pretty penny. Just kidding!

    She sounds like a real winner.

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  10. Kitty - yeah i just wanted to clear up that matt has great legs and looks good in pleather.

    Keely - agreed icebreakers suck.

    The wife - yeah he was pretty pricy, but he still wont kiss on the lips...

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