Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Make My Boo-boo Better?

Matt's finger has gone from bad to worse. It is now a horrifying shade of dark purple and extremely bulbous on the tip. He keeps poking me with it and saying "Ouch" and calling me Elliot. Apparently this is a reference to E.T.? I never saw E.T. so that humor is lost on me, much to his chagrin.


The finger became so grotesque that I finally called my doctor who is not accepting new patients and cajoled them into getting an appointment for him on Friday. About five minute into the appointment I got this text while I was at work.


Matt: They are going to amputate.


Me: WHAT?


Thoughts raced through my head, did I really injure my husband this badly that two months into our marriage he is going to lose a digit? That has to be a record of some sort. There has GOT to be an award. Almost like the Darwin Awards for bad wifery.


Matt: Haha kidding. I'm fine. She said soak it in warm water with Epsom salts and try to squeeze the infection out.


You will notice he refrained from saying pus. That was for my benefit. I find 'pus' to be the single most disgusting word in the English language, just slightly worse than 'sprout' which never fails to remind me of the STD portion of high school health class. They showed us PICTURES people! PICTURES! Of...gag. I can't continue. It's too foul. My thoughts are wondering again...what was I talking about? Oh the texts from the doctors office. Right. Here we go...


Matt: Also I got a tetanus shot.


Me: Oh no, did it hurt?


Matt: Nah, I got a Taz band-aid.
So...boy's. They never actually grow up do they?

I told him to make a tough face, which apparently sounds a lot like "squint your eyes to the point that you can't see me."

13 comments:

  1. Love your husband's pose! LOL! Where did his eyes go?

    And I thought that his finger looked so good. Just put purple nail varnish on the other 9 digits and no one will notice the difference.

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  2. Oh my word, that does not sound like any sort of fun! Lol though, they really never do grow up!

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  3. I am stuck back on the "never saw ET" business. WTH?

    Child, you must regress and watch it.

    No wonder you tried to do in your husband's digit, you are clearly nursing some sort of developmental issue from never having seen ET.

    Go forth and rent, sister

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  4. Matt's a crack up. And "pus" is revolting. The actual thing AND the word.

    Go watch ET. Matt's joke is funny.

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  5. I love how proud he looks of his Taz bandaid! LOL

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  6. I can live with the word 'pus,' but 'moist' makes me cringe. 'Moist pus' totally put me over the edge, though!

    Hope the infection works itself out soon!

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  7. That is too funny! Gotta love the fun band-aids. They make everything better.

    And Matt? Totally has nice arms.

    I guess I was kinda sort checking your husband out. But really, I'm an arm woman. I can't help it.

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  8. he would be happy to hear that jen! he is sad because he has lost weight..thinks he isnt muscley enough...boys are so weird.

    By majority vote i will be renting ET soon!

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  9. First off....YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN E.T.? I can't believe it either Paige. My, my, my....

    I'm sure you'll be hearing about the finger for years to come. They don't seem to forget when we "accidentally" hurt them.

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  10. Ha, Ha...I love the bandaide.

    My mom sat on my dad's finger and broke it after a short time being married. She felt bad then but now I think she would just laugh if she did it again.

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  11. Ok seriously, Matt cracks me up. I think he is now my #1 Favorite Husband of Someone I Have Not Met But With Whom I Think I Would Be Great Friends.

    Cheers!
    Jen

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  12. I might of missed this but what happened to Matt's finger? No ET, I don't know bekah you might have to see it!

    P.S. yes you can cuss on my blog (nothing to bad though).

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  13. Jamie, on labor day weekend I ACCIDENTLY shut it in the door of a jeep...it turned purple immediately, then it got huge and puffy and all swollen...its not pretty!

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