Friday, September 12, 2008

To Add to My Royalty...And My Shame

I loved all your comments on my QUITE OBVIOUS link to the royal family yesterday. The Wife made me laugh with her comment about her tiara at work to remind her boss that she is a princess and deserves to be treated like one. Which got me thinking...what would it actually be like to BE a member of the royal family? I'm fairly certain I wouldn't like it much...especially after my one and only brush with 'royalty' of a sort.





Homecoming court. I was mortified to hear my name announced as a member of the homecoming court. MORTIFIED. I felt shallow and silly. Is that abnormal? I actually made signs for a different girl who I thought was a better choice for homecoming queen. I played a couple of sports in high school, but I was pretty reserved otherwise. I didn't participate in choir, I didn't run for student senate, I didn't do any of the things that I thought should have been associated with Homecoming other than go to football games, and even then I didn't actually care.





Something else that bothered me? I was required to dress like this for an ENTIRE WEEK before homecoming.
I gave my sash to a boy named Kyle and asked him to wear it instead. He did. Meanwhile I was hanging signs in the hallway encouraging people to vote for a girl named Joanna, who was the drum major of the marching band. I felt like she had earned it. Joanna didn't win.
That still bothers me after all these years. Joanna deserved it, and she didn't win.


I knew that the only reason I had been voted onto that silly little court was because of my looks. There I said it. I know I am not an unattractive woman...does that mean I don't have self-esteem issues? Hell no. Does that mean that I feel attractive? No. But I know that, for whatever reason, when people look at me they find me attractive. I appreciate that blessing, because it is a blessing, I certainly didn't have anything to do with my gene sequencing. But I want to be more than that, you know?





I guess the reason I was so embarrassed was because I felt like a giant fraud. I hadn't earned it. And trust me, I realize that high school homecoming court is completely irrelevant to the real world, I'm just trying to put into words WHY I feel that sometimes attractive people have an unfair advantage over others. That REALLY bothers me.





I think this is also one of the reasons that writing appeals to me so much. While you all may know what I look like, that isn't (I hope) the reason that you read. There doesn't need to be a face behind the words for them to ring true. It's a sort of equalizer and I like that.





How do you guys feel about it? Please feel free to speak your mind, I would love to read your thoughts.

13 comments:

  1. I am not sure how a person would "earn" the right to be homecoming queen--after all, what do they do except get crowned, wave a little and maybe be in a parade or two and a page in the yearbook.

    I went to a big school for our area, and early on, the class queens and members of the court were always the pretty girls, usually cheerleaders. As we got older, that changed though, to girls people liked, athletes, interesting people--not just cheerleaders.

    I probably could still remember who they all were, but not because they won, just because they were friends.

    Sure, attractive people get advantages--but there are also down sides, like people thinking a pretty blonde must be dumb too. It all evens out in the end

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  2. I agree, and I dont mean to put this up with the issue of say...racism or sexism, Its certainly not that important. I just want to see if other people have observed the same type stuff.

    Agree with you about some disadvantages too. Thanks for your input paige!

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  3. I think that in today's society, you almost have to be semi-attractive. If singers don't look good, then they don't get picked up by record labels. Good-looking people have an easier go of it in the world. (Yes, you can say that people stereotype them as being dumb, but would you rather be stereotyped dumb but still respected, or seen as 'fat and ugly' and ignored?)

    When I was on co-op, I got stuff done in days when it would normally take weeks because I was an attractive female. That being said, after putting on 30lbs, I notice that people aren't as drawn to me as they once were.

    At the same time, I respect people who work out and run and look great. I hope to one day be one of those people. again.

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  4. Why else do people (mainly women) wear make-up? Because society, on the whole, favours those who are more attractive, or who are seen to more attractive according to the mores of the times. In the Pacific, being large is attractive, whereas in the West people want to be thin. And so on.

    I was attractive when younger and really hated that feeling that sometimes people only spoke to me because of the way I looked.

    On the other hand, as you get older, you realize that it is what is inside that counts. A cliche, I know, but true nevertheless. And people who were not deemed to be good-looking still went on to find partners and happiness - just proving my point...

    Nowadays, what we see as beautiful has gone to extremes... look at all the painfully thin models that young girls strive to follow and so on...

    Not sure what my point is here - just airing a few thoughts.

    But I'll stop now!

    ;-)

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  5. good stuff all! thanks for your input!

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  6. It is SO true that beauty gets all the glory. I have never experienced that sort of biased behavior, BUT I have experienced preferred treatment after somebody hears me sing. I've lost friends, I've gained friends and I've suddenly gained attention after I sing.

    Which is why I am so glad that I haven't put up any songs that I have done, because I want my blog to be about the real me, and make friends because of just me. Not what they think that they can gain by being associated with me.

    Great post.

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  7. I think we're all drawn toward pretty things, and that applies to how we're attracted to other human beings, too. We dress our daughters in pretty little dresse, and talk about how cute our kids are. We do things physically to ourselves to make us seem desirable to others, etc.

    I was once quite overweight. When you're that overweight, you're clearly sometimes the biggest object in a room, but it's amazing how invicible you can be. However, as I was losing weight, suddenly I appeared to people who were constantly remarking on "how great you're doing," and "how fantastic you look." I'm not going to deny that I didn't enjoy that attention, but it was also insanely difficult for me to wrap my mind around it. I was absolutely the same person regardless of what my weight was, and yet no one seemed to want to address that in my prior body. It really kind of screwed around with my mind.

    Interesting post!

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  8. Dude, I TOTALLY only read this blog cuz your hot. I'm sorry. Is that bad??

    Ha ha, sorry, I'm just trying to throw in a little humor. I hear what you are saying...it sucks but such is life. I've let it get me down before (not that I'm a freakin' toad or anything but I know I'm not one of the most attractive people out there) but as I get older it bothers me less and less...

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  9. I went to a very "clicky" (I know it's spelled wrong but for the life of me my brain can't come up with the other spelling) school. Only the "jocks" and the "cheerleaders" had a good chance at winning anything.

    I don't read your blog cause your beautiful (cause you are), I read your blog because your posts are funny and you've always got something very interesting to say.

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  10. I gave you a little blog love on my blog! Have a great weekend!

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  11. i was on homecoming court my freshman year and made such a fuss while talking at the pep rally about it not being fair to the people who deserved it most i didnt get voted for anything again that required speaking in public (at high school at least).

    and yes, i only read blogs written by hot people.... wait, what!?! if that were true, i wouldnt even read my own blog!

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  12. Hey, one year in high school, our homecoming king and queen were married with a child! NO KIDDING! I guess I didn't qualify that year. Or any other year. Hmmm, what does that say about me?

    This is just a thought but it seems to me that attractive people seem to have good social skills, which allows them to get things others would not. Does that make any sense?

    I'm not saying I am attractive, let's just say, average looking. But I use my average looks and social skills to get things done when others I work with can't.

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  13. when I was in high school. The popular kids were cruel. They decided to vote for the 3 dorkiest girls in our class and the three ugliest boys. The poor girl who was laughed at the most, suddenly felt like she was popular. It was sad and mean. And of course in the last voting, the popular kids won. But this went on for a week. I will never forget it. I never voted at all that year on anyone. Kids can be so mean.

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