I stepped up and faced my fears last night, I gave a speech. It was for school so it was relatively ''easy" as far as speeches go, but I think we all know by now that I have a bit of a social phobia. I seized onto the only topic I know a ridiculous amount about, mostly because I have an unhealthy fear of it, Carbon Monoxide. I'm sure you guys remember the Great Carbon Monoxide Scare of 2008?
I figured that was my best chance of eking out a five minute speech.
I dressed nicely in an effort to convince myself that I am an adult that is fully capable of speaking in front of a room of 30 people. I was prepared, but honestly, the fact that I knew I LOOKED the part was more reassuring to me than my hours of preparation.
I waited for my turn to take the podium anxiously. As I waited, I fidgeted. It's what I do, I am a fidget. I always have been, and always will be. Being still and/or calm does not come naturally to me in any sense. As I gathered my notes, I noticed that while I was 'fidgeting' I was actually stroking my pen back and forth over the thigh of my leg.
Back and forth with my OPEN pen over the thigh of my light gray slacks.
By the time I noticed my error I had created a giant blue swath of ink across my upper thigh.
Go freakin' figure.
I gave my speech with one hand awkwardly placed on my upper thigh area. I think the class thought my bladder was about to give. I looked into their sympathetic faces and fumbled through five minutes in agony.
Meet my downfall. INK.