Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Cat Burglar I am Not

Yesterday, as I prepared to go to work, I took Jaco outside for a potty break. I had about 15 minutes before I had to leave so I was in no rush, but as I pulled the door closed behind me I heard a click and my heart stopped. I tried the door, but to no avail. I had officially locked myself (without keys) outside.

I learned that it is remarkably difficult to break into a locked house! I even tried that move where you kick the door and it just busts right open, I figured I could replace the lock at a later time. Yeah, that door kicking move? It doesn't work like that.

I ran around the house trying all the windows I could reach, and finally found one that was open, but the screen was in. Also the open window was a good seven feet off of the ground.

I dragged an Adirondack chair over and tried to maneuver the screen out of the window, eventually I became so frustrated that I simply used my fingers to poke through and rip the screen right out.

Wonderful! I thought. This should be easy as pie now! Then my lack of upper body strength came back to bite me. My arms...they are kind of um...thin. One might call them noodles with elbows. After much squirming I managed to hoist myself up onto the window sill, where I promptly became stuck, half in, half out, just like a see-saw.

I could hear cars driving by and I am kind of surprised/ disappointed that no one called the police when they saw my bum hanging out of the window, because what if I had been a thief?! Granted, one of the world's WORST thieves, but a thief is a thief you know?

I used my legs to flip myself over through the window and landed headfirst in a pile of dirty laundry. Face, meet husbands dirty boxers.

Lovely.

Moral of the story: those hide-a-key things? Not a bad idea.

If you had happened to be driving by a house and saw a rear end hanging halfway out of a window, would you have called the police? I really think I would have!

12 comments:

  1. I'm feeling your pain! Our door handles turn on the inside even if the door is locked. I have had to hang from our back porch (no stairs for some reason) and jump down about 10 feet to walk around the side of the house and come in through the garage.
    This is really not an issue until the lawn guys are next door and can see you as you walk across your driveway. In a nightgown it could be considered the walk of shame.
    Glad you were able to get in!!

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  2. I locked myself out of the house once and waited outside for Mr. C to get home. (It was like 2 hours) I locked myself out of the house a couple weeks ago, but I managed to do the 'pull a screen out' and use a lever to get the window open.

    I made sure no one was passing our house though b/c I didn't want the cops called!

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  3. You have written of my worse fear! Well, one of them, anyway. Plus, our windows have these security latch tabs that we pop so the windows can't be pried open, so I'd never get back into my house! And my cell phone, if I even had it on me, would likely be dead!

    I'm pretty sure if I saw someone crawling into a house, I'd have called the police. Seriously, even if you weren't a thief (of course) you were a homeowner in need of assistance. Cripes, the cops show up instantly when one of my kids accidently calls 911 (three times)(just wait!), you'd hope they'd show up for a potential home invasion!

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  4. What a pickle! Good job getting back in! I'd like to think I would call the cops. I'd definitely want someone to if a person was crawling through my window (even if it was me)!

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  5. Oh man, this was hilarious!

    I've locked myself out before but it was in an apartment and there was NO getting back in. There I stood in the hallway, dressed only in boxers, a teeshirt, NO BRA, and laundry basket in hand. Crap. And this building was pretty vacant...I think there were only like 3 other tenants at that point in time so I had to go knock on the door of a REEEEEEEALLY creepy guy who lived one floor below me who always stared at me. IN my boxers, teeshirt, no bra. UGH! LOL I learned my lesson. ;-)

    And I'm sure you learned yours! LOL

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  6. our windows are not as high up as yours, thank goodness, as I have locked myself out many a time...

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  7. Too funny! I can just see you dangling from the window.

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  8. I HATE those moments when you realize that you can not get back in your own house. I've done that and had to go next door to use their phone and call a friend who lived in town and had keys to our place. (also not a bad idea, along with a hide a key). Luckily she was home and able to help me back in.

    But I love the fact that you documented it with pics. Gawd I love you. Cracks me up.

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  9. Oh good grief! Just don't do that once that little baby comes around;)
    My sister in law's 3 year old daughter locked her out of her house one day with her other 1 year old daughter inside. Talk about hysterical and scared! Amazingly her neighbor was home and they were able to get a door open.
    Now she keeps a hidden key outside!

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  10. Oh My....I was reading along and thought, don't tell me she climbed in that window....Hide a key...can you imagine doing that about 7 months pregnant....NO....don't be doing that!!

    But to answer your question...I would have called 911 in a minute.

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  11. Too bad Jaco didn't have his camera, he would have gotten some funny shots. Or did he? Did he ever start his own blog?????

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  12. haha you guys crack me up!

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