I learned that it is remarkably difficult to break into a locked house! I even tried that move where you kick the door and it just busts right open, I figured I could replace the lock at a later time. Yeah, that door kicking move? It doesn't work like that.
I ran around the house trying all the windows I could reach, and finally found one that was open, but the screen was in. Also the open window was a good seven feet off of the ground.
I dragged an Adirondack chair over and tried to maneuver the screen out of the window, eventually I became so frustrated that I simply used my fingers to poke through and rip the screen right out.
Wonderful! I thought. This should be easy as pie now! Then my lack of upper body strength came back to bite me. My arms...they are kind of um...thin. One might call them noodles with elbows. After much squirming I managed to hoist myself up onto the window sill, where I promptly became stuck, half in, half out, just like a see-saw.
I could hear cars driving by and I am kind of surprised/ disappointed that no one called the police when they saw my bum hanging out of the window, because what if I had been a thief?! Granted, one of the world's WORST thieves, but a thief is a thief you know?
I used my legs to flip myself over through the window and landed headfirst in a pile of dirty laundry. Face, meet husbands dirty boxers.
Lovely.
Moral of the story: those hide-a-key things? Not a bad idea.
If you had happened to be driving by a house and saw a rear end hanging halfway out of a window, would you have called the police? I really think I would have!
