Alternate title: Hell on Earth.
This picture is two months old...but it is the last picture I have of him sleeping on his own...that should give you a little hint as to how well our sleep habits are.)
Jack is not a good sleeper, and I will be the first to say that that is mostly (almost completely) MY fault. I spent the first few months of Jack's life neurotically poking him in his sleep to make sure he was breathing. That sounds funny, I know, but seriously...I poked my baby...a lot.
Lesson One: Don't poke your baby. Poking helps no one.
At four months we transitioned him to his crib, and by that I mean we tried it once, and it he cried, so I held him on the couch.
Lesson Two: Don't hold your baby on the couch overnight. It may be easier, but it's not safe and it's not smart.
At four and half months we had to move to my mom's house, so he and I shared a futon.
Lesson Three: Futons are uncomfortable.
Now, at seven months, he can't sleep anywhere but in my arms. You can imagine how conducive that is to marriage. As if living in your parents basement wasn't a big enough deterrent to romance, holding a baby will pretty much guarantee little to no umm...intimacy. (I feel a little weird writing about sex here since I never do, but come on, we are married...we didn't get pregnant from holding hands...oh...and...umm...Hi DAD. Awkward.) When intimacy suffers, you start acting weird...it's true. You get annoyed with their habits, they breathe too loud, they hold the remote control wrong, and MY GOSH you're hair is too pointy (No really, at one point or another I have irrationally rolled my eyes at all of the above).
Lesson Four: Sex is important to marriage.
I knew that I was the one holding all three of us back in many different ways, so we got the crib from our house, cleaned the mattress thoroughly, and June 1st marked the beginning of what I like to call purgatory.
However, last night was also the first night in a long time that I spent cuddled with my husband. Sure, it was because I was crying because Jack was crying, but it's a start.
Lesson Five: We can do this...I think.
We are getting there, I'll let you know when we do. Until then, does anyone want to come over here and explain to Jack that sleep is actually a good thing?