Thursday, October 21, 2010

When You Fall Off Your Dog...

Yesterday was rough, really rough.  It was the perfect storm of a cold, teething, a previous sleepless night, and monthly hormones.  Jack spent the morning clinging to my leg with his lower jaw stuck out in a near constant whine, and I spent it in a pool of self-doubt and self pity.

Eventually we went to the park, and I would really like to say that I turned my attitude around and had a great time, but in all honesty that is not what happened.  Sure there were parts of the day that were fine, some that were even great, but in the back of my mind I kept hearing my inner fourteen year old muttering 'ugh, can today just be over already?'

Seven o'clock rolled around, Jack went to bed without a peep, and I flopped dramatically on the couch.  As I vegged there and thought about the day, I suddenly felt a sense of loss.  I realized that there is a limited period of time when I can change the course of my child's day.  Right now, I am the center of his day.  I make the schedule and like it or not, I set the attitude.

And yesterday? Mine sucked.  I spent the day blaming it on Jack, but I didn't try very hard to get past his teething fussiness.  I didn't focus on how funny he looked in the hat I got for him the day before, I didn't focus on the way he walked like Frankenstein's monster as he followed me around the room.  I saw those things, but if you had called me up and asked how the day went, I would have immediately launched into an explanation of why it was such a bad day.

All I can do is learn from yesterday.  I know more days will come that will drive me to my limit, that there is more to come in the crabbiness department, but I want to remember that I can only determine the course of the day for so long.   I won't get a do-over.
To quote a middle school inspirational poster, 'it's not how many times you fall, it's how many times you get back up."
It's a new day, and it's going to be a good one.

7 comments:

  1. So true that Mama's can alter the course of their child's day. Its something we all need to remember. I love the saying "when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." So true around here!

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  2. I think we all have days like that, and we all need reminders like this! Hope your day is MUCH better! :)

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  3. I stumbled upon your blog after seeing your posts on the bump. I love reading your thoughts! So deep and revalational. Love your writing! Hope you don't mind that i'm stalking :)

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  4. Bekah, don't beat yourself up too much, it does happen to the best of us. Somedays are just a little off no matter how hard we try!

    You are a great mom, these are just the trying times that cause you to doubt!!

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  5. Your so very right. Yesterday was a trying day for me too, which resulted in us leaving the library story hour early and me in tears, not my finest moment. But your so right all we can do is, do it over again, learn and grow and do better! Thanks for this post, I really needed it.

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  6. Parenting little ones can be so exhausting..don't be to hard on yourself. We all have those days and thank God he makes all things new every morning!

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