Still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that another year of life has come and gone, leaving me breathlessly contemplating the changes it has brought. The most obvious change has been in Jack, who can now be called nothing other than a toddler. One who is now openly defiant at that. That has been a fun development, leaving me with my jaw dropped as he ran away from me down the hallway yelling 'NO NO NO NO' to his pajamas. I guess this is where the real parenting starts huh?
We have also moved twice, the first time being out of our home and into my mother's basement basically overnight when we found massive amounts of black mold hidden under several layers of flooring in the kitchen (and later in the living room, and the walls and ceiling), and the second time being in June when we finally got into a place of our own again, albeit a rental, it is a blessing. We are very happy here.
About the house thing, I know I haven't mentioned it much lately, and I certainly haven't kept you up to date as I should have, but the truth is - I just wanted a place where it didn't matter. The past 10 months have been hard on us, and Matt has shouldered the brunt of the burden on his own. He has dealt with lawyers, Realtors, brokers, etc. and the strain is starting to show on him.
SO...although it may not sound like a good thing, as of today, January 4th, our former home is officially on the market. It is going up for a short sale, and we are hoping and praying that an investor sees the beauty and potential of our lot, and decides to buy the property. Ideally, I am sure you know that we would have renovated the home ourselves...but alas, we do not have forty thousand dollars to put into it (and that is a LOW estimate) so this is our next best option. Our Realtor informed us today that he has already received four phone inquiries, which is a good sign, if nothing else. We would both absolutely love your prayers that the right person stumbles onto the house.
It's tough, you know? We haven't lived in the house for almost ten months, but sometimes I still think of it as home. I would lying if I said I haven't found myself absentmindedly heading there after going to grocery store, and sometimes when I need some time away from everything, I still drive by to see it, to see the creek with the lame excuse of 'checking the mail'. I ran into the girls that were our neighbors, the little ones that had enormous, hilarious crushes on my husband, and my heart panged a little.
But then I think about they way Jack used to scream for hours on end when we lived there, for no apparent reason. How he used to wake up from sleep, wailing like his little body was in pain, and although we don't have definite proof, both Matt and I firmly believe that the house was the cause. The levels of mold in the air were high enough to cause arsenic poisoning, the first symptoms of which are headaches and stomach pain. Within a week or so of leaving there, Jack changed. He was...content. Sure he cried, but he finally cried for reasons we could solve. He cried when he was hungry, or sleepy, or needed changed, and for the first time I felt like I was doing it...this whole mothering thing.
I'm just so grateful that Matt pulled up the floor when he did. Not a day later. I'm so thankful that I have this beautiful, healthy child, and his handsome caring father. So, 2011? Bring it on! I'm excited to see what you have in store for us.
I am sorry I have been MIA for the last few days, I was attempting to squeeze every last drop of fun out of Matt's holiday break, and somehow I also managed to break my laptop. Everything works EXCEPT for the wireless thingamajig, so I can't get online. I'm pretty sure it will turn out to be something stupid like a button I inadvertently pushed, and I will be back in action in no time.