When I was little my mom had put one of those bright green Mr. Yuck stickers on the telephone receiver just in case, I am assuming, one of us ever ingested a strange or foreign substance. I thought about that sticker a lot yesterday.
Why you ask? Oh, well, you know...Jack did things yesterday. Bad things. Things that required not one, but TWO calls to poison control. (Whose number, should you need it, is 1-800-222-1222). The day ended with me feeling like a truly inadequate mother in every sense of the word.
The first thing was accidental. He likes to be everywhere that I am, always underfoot. I was doing laundry, and as I opened the liquid detergent, some of the dried soap around the rim flaked off. I thought very little of it until Jack started screaming and rubbing his eye. He must have been looking up to see what I was doing, and little flake of soap must have fallen in his eye. I rushed him to the sink and started pouring water over his eye, which made him good and angry, but seemed to help. I immediately called the pediatrician, who transferred me to poison control, who told me basically to do what I had done, but do it a little longer.
After that scare, I decided that our house needed to be super baby-proofed. I mean, it IS baby proof, but you know, things get left on the floor, or fall out of pockets and purses. I started in the kitchen, made my way into the living room, and was cleaning under the couch cushions when I heard Jack gagging behind me and saying 'yuck'.
He was eating the compressed powder from a Maybelline compact. Sigh. Again with the flushing with water, this time in his mouth. I cleaned it out the best that I could and called my mom in tears. She called poison control for me this time, because I was afraid that they would notice the same phone number twice and get suspicious.
Luckily, the make-up was non-toxic, and he was totally fine from both incidents, but I gotta tell you, I am not sure that I am.
Did I mention this was all before noon?
1. Toddlers are curious, and will get into EVERYTHING. Then, they will probably eat it.
2. I shouldn't do laundry.
3. I shouldn't bother doing my make-up.
Lessons 2 and 3 might be self-serving.