Do you guys remember the last time I was pregnant, and while running late to work I slammed my car door into my own head? Wasn't that awesome? No...I know.
WELL, let me tell you about what happened on Tuesday, which was pretty much an all-around slam dunk of a day. It started out with Jack waking up in his crib covered in his own excrement, which is just never a good thing. I cleaned him up, got him settled on the couch with his Froot Loops and milk, and turned on Elmo. After a few minutes, he vomited all over himself.
If you have never seen a toddler/baby throw up, consider yourself lucky. It is tragic. And disgusting. And it scares them into full out bawling. I picked him up and held him to my chest and told him it was okay, that Mommy had him and he would be fine. I carried him into the kitchen on the way to the laundry room to strip him down and clean him up. On the way there, My big toe caught in the bottom of my pajama pants, beginning a full out stumble fest in the kitchen.
Due to the fact that I am a little off balance from pregnancy to begin with, and I was holding a 25 pound toddler to my chest, I couldn't get myself upright, but I didn't fall down either. Instead I stumbled lower and lower for what felt like ten minutes, trying desperately to cover any part of my boy that might get hurt in a fall.
Luckily, I caught myself on the corner/edge of the countertop, which completely protected Jack from hitting anything.
Did I mention that I caught myself with my face? Resulting in a really stellar bruise on my cheekbone and a bloody nose? Which is now morphing into a really beautiful shade of yellow and a black eye?
Yeah. That really happened. In the long run, yeah, it hurt pretty bad, but I am very lucky to have not hit my actual eye, or my nose, or to have fallen on Jack, or to have fallen in a way that would hurt the inside baby.
Needless to say, between the vomiting baby with diarrhea, and my self-inflicted facial trauma, the day was not off to the best of starts.
About three hours later, Matt sent me a text letting me now that he had just been rear-ended.
It wasn't an AWESOME day, but we made it.