Tuesday, September 6, 2011

35 Weeks...and Giving Up

First...the giving up part.  He has been offering since I was 20 weeks pregnant, but my pride has forced me to say no.  But this week, after contorting my body for a few minutes, I took him up on that offer. 
That's right...my husband paints my toenails.  I just can't quite get there to paint them if I want to be able to breathe at the same time, and breathing is kind of important, you know?

I am right around 35 weeks along now, and for whatever reason - be it hormones or just reality - I am starting to get pretty anxious.  I worry about my ability to mother two children at once, I worry that I won't be able to love this new life the same way, that so much of my heart is already full that he will get slighted.  Like he deserves more.  I have talked to so many moms who tell me that that is simply not the case, that your heart just explodes with just as much love for this one as the last, but I still worry.  I just want to be the best mommy I can be, the mommy these little guys deserve.

I remember feeling sort of like this before I had Jack, worrying that I wouldn't be able to be a good mommy to him, and the minute I saw his little red face I never had that feeling again.  I pray that the same thing happens as soon as I see Luke's little red face. 

So anyway...now that I have made myself cry...here I am at 35 weeks. 
Rather large. 

Stats:
Weight Gain:  I honestly don't know...it was still around 30 lbs last week.
Movement:  Yes, it's actually getting rather painful and I can tell that my little guy is starting to get pretty cramped in there. 
Cravings:  No...I think I am pretty much past the ravenous pregnant woman stage, and into the no room for food in here stage.
Labor Signs:  Yeah, kind of.  I went in to be monitored for a little while last week due to some very slight bleeding, and while I am not IN labor, I am still contracting every 4-6 minutes.  Some of the contractions I can feel, and oddly, some of them  I cannot feel.  I am 1cm. dilated at this point, but that really doesn't mean that he will be here sooner rather than later.  I am not expecting any baby action for at least another 3 weeks. 
Milestones: Less than 40 days to go until my due date! 

Just for fun, I did a comparison between this week, and the last time I took a picture wearing the same shirt (27 weeks along). 
Yep...I'd say that's grown a little.

Matt and I shared a little laugh in the car a few days ago, talking about Luke's arrival.  I have been stressed out worrying about his curtains being the right color, or his room looking just right, and Matt always reminds me that all we really NEED when he is born are diapers and the carseat.  Well...now that the day is approaching, guess what two things we still haven't checked off our list? 

Diapers.  And the carseat.  I mean...the carseat is in the basement, it just needs to be installed, but still.  It's a little ironic. 

I really can't believe that I am 35 weeks along, part of me still feels like we just found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago!

10 comments:

  1. haha, LOVE the pic of Matt painting your toe nails. True love (:

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  2. My sweet girl, you're perfectly normal in your feelings I'm sure! Not only will you fall madly in love with Luke when you see him, he will tug your heart in his own way just as Jack does! I know you, there is so much love in your heart and these little boys will never doubt that!! You look beautiful my dear one! xoxox, Oukie

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  3. cute!

    yes..really...it's like another part of your heart opens up..promise! :)

    you'll be an awesome mama to two!

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  4. You look fabulous. And, personally, I would have caved a lot sooner on the toenails...

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  5. Too funny. I could never get my husband to paint my toes. Neither one of us are 'feet people' haha.

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  6. He's a wonderful husband, and father, and you are a wonderful mother....life is good. Enjoy it, not many men will paint their wives toes.....

    Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams

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  7. It won't be long and then you'll be posting cute pictures of a tiny little baby! You look beautiful! hang in there, the end always sucks a little!

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  8. You look fantastic!! Not too much longer to go :)

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  9. You are going to be the most awesome mom to BOTH those little boys. I have zero doubt in my mind (and I'm not pregnant, so I clearly have the clearer head. ;-) You should listen to me).

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  10. your looking very healthy... you are so lucky to have these kind of husband...

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