Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Oh Jackie

Jack is - man - I don't know what he is right now.  I think it is partially because his routines are all messed up, and partially just his age, but he is really acting out.  He tends to direct his misbehavior towards me, to the point that he will straight up laugh in my face when he is in trouble (or he will stand at the door and scream for his Dad, which is sad, but also incredibly hard to handle).

I am just so frustrated, I want so much for this kid, you know?  And he has so many amazing qualities that I want to encourage, but as moms we are called to do more than just encourage their good side, we have to help them learn to curb their not so good side as well. 

I guess I feel like when I try to talk to him, to explain WHY his behavior is not okay, he completely tunes me out.  He is only two and a half, so if we are having a communication issue, I know that it is up to me to change the way we are communicating - but...how? 

No really. How?

Sincerely,
Frustrated & Frumpy in PA

11 comments:

  1. Positive reinforcement, busy activities, and limit choices! Children between ages 2 and 3 prefer a rigid and inflexible schedule (maybe this routine change could be setting it off). I know it seems way off but usually by age 3 it goes away. I have been a nanny for this age a lot so I am praying this helps. It will prepare you for those wonderful moments when they are older as I am experiencing now with a 6yr old stepdaughter who thinks she is 20 :D

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  2. I was asking a friend of mine and mom of three boys ages 1, 4, and 6, about communicating with boys and at what age they start to understand "why." She said that it didn't start for her 6 year old until 4-5 and her 4 year old is just starting to understand. Maybe this is why it's not getting through to him? With William (but he's 19 months) any kind of correction has to be immediate or it's too late. I have noticed that when his schedule is off, he is crankier and more defiant though.

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  3. Hey Bekah....Bella was the same way from 2-3. I feel that she is just now being "fun" again. I am big on the routine thing and when John is away is does change, but I still try to keep it all together.(whatever that means) Sometimes I just give in and laugh it off with her and other times I want to jump out the window! They are toddlers and they are VERY frustrating at times. I just try to enjoy the craziness because I know that they will be in school before I know it and I will be wanting this craziness again!

    Drop him and Luke off at my house to play anytime :) (seriously....the girls would love to play and I miss them)

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  4. Thanks ladies. I really think a good portion of it is the move messing him up. With the house in disarray, Matt gone most of the week, and just general life craziness - maybe this is how he is telling me it is stressing him out?

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  5. Bekah,i feel like i could have totally written the same thing about Liam today (hopefully that means its just an age thing). It just feels like everyday becomes a bigger battle. Most of the time i don't even want to leave the house because i know it will end badly and no matter how hard you are working on setting their limits and discipline i still feel so judged by others in public. When we are home our biggest battle is meal time...ugh it may be the biggest contributor to my craziness!

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  6. Bekah~ Don't change what you are doing just yet. The move is probably at the heart of the issue and not a communication failure. We moved when Jaime was 3 and we had the same thing happen, it took a little bit but your correction style is part of his routine. I would do everything to make life as much the same as it was for him and just let him adjust for a while as long as no ones life is in danger (running out in the street for example). He's just testing his new boundaries. Good luck!!!

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  7. i know what you're going through. Honestly the only thing that has worked with Kinsley is timeouts... in her room, until she can listen/stop crying/eat her dinner/ etc!
    We do positive reinforcement, we have a star chart, blah blah blah... last night the only thing that worked when she was screaming at me because she wanted a cupcake and not the rest of her dinner was to pick her up, put her in her room and tell her she can come out when she's done crying and ready to eat her dinner. Then i walked away. THEN she shut the door ON ME! WTF! Well a few minutes later she had calmed down and was willing to join the rest of the world.

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  8. Oh my gosh!!!! We all need to be neighbors! This is the EXACT SAME THING that Josie has been doing ALL THE TIME! She will flat out SCREAM and breakdown... anytime, anywhere, Target aisle's ... YUP! Being firm and consistent are the only thing that seem to work... she's too smart for her own good, and if we aren't consistent, she'll take the wheel and go!
    praying for you Bekah!
    xo

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  9. I feel you on this. J's right there with Jack, and for the life of me, I can't figure out how to curb it, other than just ride out two and hope that three is better.

    The one thing I would say is my mantra: "he's only two." Which is more a reminder to me that, yeah, he's only two. He doesn't understand all this. He needs me to keep my sentences short, the punishments timely, and the love flowing. He doesn't know how to regulate his emotions, and I can't MAKE him do that--I can just repeat, repeat, repeat and hope it sinks in.

    And that I don't lose my mind ;-)

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  10. I don't think it's possible to reason with them... mine knows most of what's right and wrong, but he doesn't understand the WHY at this age. I think we still have a couple more years for that to click.

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  11. He is only two...just say no...you don't need to explain. Then you stay calm and carry on...Jack can pout if he wants...do not go back to him until he is ready to behave. hard to do but I think it is the way to go..

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